Before I say anything about Whitney's epic two-day interview on Oprah, let me get this out of my system:

 

Oh boy, is this woman amazing. Enthralled for the full two hours Oprah rightly devoted to Whitney, a lot of things came to mind, but nothing more forcefully than these two words: consummate entertainer. Her story of drug addiction, co-dependency, getting sick of fame to the point where she really thought that part of her life was over, playing her status as an icon down so as not to emasculate her husband, doing Being Bobby Brown just for his sake (but thinking it was an accurate portrayal of their dysfunction) and on and on and on -- it was all so compelling, and the way she told it only made it more fascinating. I didn't think for one second that Whitney was anything but entirely honest -- at this point, what does she have to lose, anyway? This was the specific counterpart to her vague (but good) "comeback" album I Look to You, and I'm seriously in awe of Oprah's skills. I guess you don't get to be Oprah by accident.

The only thing I was a little bit disappointed by was that Whitney dodged the question of whether she lost her voice -- she was always confident it was there, but she made no reference to the fact that it's no longer near the condition it once was. Oh well, her performance of "I Didn't Know My Own Strength" at least restored some faith in her ability to perform live after her disastrous showing on Good Morning America. I guess she has her good days and her bad days (and indeed, in the first part of the interview, taped just the day before Central Park, her speaking voice was thin and raspy). After all, she's only human -- that seems to be her primary message these days, anyway.

Oh, and fuck Wendy Williams for taking Whitney to task for "not owning" her addiction, whatever the fuck that means. Whitney did not appear on Oprah to discuss the addition gene, but the circumstances that surrounded her drug problem (and they had everything to do with Bobby), and she certainly didn't go on Oprah so that Wendy Williams could tearfully address America and prove that she's the better recovering addict. I loved Wendy up till this. It could be a deal-breaker for me. I think ultimately she's just salty that she didn't get the exclusive, and she's trying to force her way into Whitney's spotlight. What a pig. I think we all know the appropriate response. Ahem.

Anyway, I'm not going to recap the interview or anything, just rip shit from context for maximum hilarity, because this woman is really something else. First up is a soundboard of my favorite quotes from the interview:

And then below, some gifs. They are sooo necessary...